Unless You Immediately Get Eaten By The Zombies
You assume that in the event of a zombie apocalypse you’re not going to care about your health. You think that you’ll be so focused on finding food, water, shelter, and weapons, that finding freshly baked spelt bread and ripe avocados will be too much of a burden. Yeah, okay. You’re probably right. But you still don’t want to die from scurvy before you get to repopulate the earth.
Your survival needs will really depend on the type of zombie apocalypse that breaks out. Are the zombies aggressive or docile? Does the infection happen over the course of a few weeks or overnight? What time of year is it? Survival in the winter will be very different from the summer. Will the zombies start dying once their food source (brains) is depleted or are they destined to wander the earth forever, long after all the humans are dead? This will determine if you’ll just need to find somewhere to lay low for awhile and survive on vending machine and canned food, or if you’ll need a longer term solution.
Regardless of where you are and what time of year it is, you will need water, food, shelter, the ability to create fire, and enough skills and stamina to defend yourself. It is the ZOMBIE apocalypse after all. If this apocalypse ends up being a long-term sort of thing there are certain things that will greatly help you along the way and allow you live long enough to tell your tale of woe to your future grandchildren. Here’s what you’re going to need to stay healthy in the zombie apocalypse.
Water will be your main necessity for staying alive (just like it is now). It might be hard to locate drinkable water once the plumbing stops working and the stores run out of bottled water. Don’t think you can drink alcohol instead; that will only dehydrate you and make you easier for the zombies to catch. Instead, be prepared with a water filtration system that requires no electricity and is easily portable.
Something like the Berkey sport water bottle filter is small enough to take with you on the run and lets you filter water from less than ideal sources, filtering out toxins, heavy metals, pesticides, pharmaceuticals, and more. A must-have in the apocalypse.
Upon the breakdown of society, mother nature will once again be able to roam free. Pollution will decrease and plants will flourish. Having a working knowledge (or handy guidebook) of the edible and medicinal plants that grow in your area will be a massive lifesaver. Many common weeds that grow in your backyard are edible and nutritious. They’re not tasty, but you can’t be too picky; it’s the zombie apocalypse after all.
There are plenty of edible & medicinal plant guides available, but you’ll want to get one that has plants specific to your area and includes plants found in your own backyard.
If it starts to look like this zombie apocalypse thing is going to run long-term, you will need to learn how to farm. Ideally, you would find a safe place to do this. You likely won’t have to worry about deer eating your crops, but zombies don’t care if they trample your spinach plants. They’re jerks.
Learning how to farm and grow your own food, sadly, isn’t something most of us are taught anymore. But when the zombies take over and society collapses, knowing how to grow your own food will be insanely important for your health and survival. You should be able to find seeds at your local rundown grocery or gardening store. You could also start now and figure out what foods you currently have in your kitchen that can be harvested for their seeds and planted. Get a farming and/or or homesteading book to guide you in your plant-growing journey of survival. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, let’s hope bookstores are still be intact.
After the initial zombie attack and massive death toll, you will need to find food. Depending on how quickly the zombie apocalypse progressed, you could be left with a nearly untouched supply of food. Or it could be miles of empty shelves.
First, head for the produce section and load up on the good stuff. Fresh fruits and vegetables may only last a little while. Eat what you can and take with you things that will last during your travels. Lemons, apples, melons, avocados, and other hard fruits will travel well without heavy bruising. Head to the bulk section of the store and grab an assortment of nuts and seeds as well. These will travel well and provide you with nourishment you will otherwise not get with fruits and vegetables alone.
You don’t know how long it will be before you find more food. If you have room in your bag, grab some healthy, minimally processed foods that you can eat once your fresh produce supply is gone. Grab some instant oatmeal, which only requires water to eat. This will be a great source of iron. Avoid cereals, cookies, and crackers that have minimal nutritional content. These won’t provide you with the energy you need. Dried fruit and granola bars are good to grab too. They will last longer than other foods. Grab the ones with the highest nutrient and calorie content.
If you can find pure maple syrup, grab it. It’s heavy, but high in calories and is a rich source of unrefined sugar and nutrients that will fuel you as you run from certain doom. If you’re not Canadian it may take a bit of time before you learn to drink it straight from the bottle, but don’t worry, you’ll get there.
In the event of the zombie apocalypse proper nutrition will be difficult to obtain. If you can safely make it to a grocery store, or better yet, a health food store, grab the most expensive multivitamins you can find, as well as an assortment of omega 3’s & 6’s, extra B vitamins, iron, probiotics (the non-refrigerated kind), and digestive enzymes (to help your body digest all the vending machine crap you’ll likely eat). You will also want to get a good powder protein supplement. Your diet will really suck for the first while, and having these extra nutrients will give you the energy to keep running and fighting. The zombies will also probably eat all the farm animals, so don’t expect to get any meat or dairy in your diet once the grocery store food expires. You will go vegan because you have no other choice; making B12, iron, and good protein sources very important.
There’s no need to grab vitamin D supplements. You will likely be spending more time outside in the sun than you are comfortable with. Unless this particular zombie apocalypse also brought a darkened sky from nuclear war. In that case you will want extra vitamin D as well as iodine tablets to fight radiation damage.
Cardio and strength training will be vital during the zombie apocalypse. You will have to fend off zombies on a daily basis. This will include a lot of running and using guns and various melee weapons; many of which are extremely heavy. You will need to be strong enough to swing a sword or axe with enough power to destroy a zombie’s brain, then have enough remaining energy to run away from his buddies. If you’re unlucky enough to get trapped in the type of zombie apocalypse where the zombies run after you rather than just lazily walk, cardio will be even more important. Seriously. You should start training now.
Spend time watching YouTube fitness videos if you don’t have a home fitness library. Go to the gym, go for walks and runs. If you’re feeling really strong head to a ninja training course gym and see how you do. Most zombies won’t be able to chase you through an obstacle course.
It’s going to take time to prepare yourself for the zombie apocalypse. The healthier and more active you are now the more likely you will be to survive the initial onslaught and what comes after. Doing your best to stay healthy during the zombie apocalypse will ensure you can outrun, fight, and survive until the zombies are all defeated. Or at least until you can make your way to an island untouched by man to start anew. Good luck survivors!
This particular post is intended as humor and is not seriously suggesting the zombie apocalypse will soon break out. Seriously, it could take decades before it actually happens. If you do not feel physically or mentally prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, please consult your doctor, naturopath, or therapist for further guidance. Please also be aware that in the event of any type of apocalypse, events are unpredictable and the above guidance may be rendered useless. If the robot uprising occurs at the same time as the zombie apocalypse many of the above tips will not be adequate for your survival. Please prepare accordingly.