To Prepare You For This Inevitable Conversation:
“Hey, you want half of my turkey sandwich?”
“No thanks, I don’t eat meat”
“Really? But where do you get your protein?”
If you’re vegan, or even vegetarian, this scenario is all-to familiar for you. For some reason, it’s assumed that those of use who opt out of eating meat don’t get adequate protein. In truth, as long as you’re eating a variety of whole, fresh foods, protein won’t be an issue. Unfortunately, that won’t stop people from asking about it. Here are some ideas or what you can say to those people.
To Be Quick and to The Point
“I get my protein from the same place that the animals you eat get their protein… plants.”
“From food, dude. Most foods have some amount of protein.”
If You Want to Be Funny
“Protein? That’s not a real thing. It’s actually just an elaborate conspiracy created by the fitness industry; you know, like carbs.”
“Pro… teen? What’s a protein? Is it like shampoo or something?”
“Oh no! I don’t eat any protein. Am I going to die! Quickly, get me to the hospital. I’m too weak to drive myself.
“I actually take a daily injection of high potency amino acids extracted from the ass of a woolly mammoth cloned in a lab in Switzerland.”
If You Want to be Mean
“Don’t ask stupid questions man; read a book.”
“Well, nearly everything I eat has some amount of protein in it. And because it isn’t processed meat, like you usually eat, my food sources likely won’t give me cancer.”
If You Want to be Extremely Accurate
“Well Daniel, I believe you mean to ask what dietary sources give me the essential amino acids my body requires for optimal homeostasis. I obtain leucine from whole grain rice, isoleucine from almonds, lysine from avocado, methionine from onions, phenylalanine from quinoa, threonine from sesame seeds, tryptophan from carrots, valine from apples, and histidine from potatoes.”
Good luck! Also, if you memorize that last one and actually use it, let me know. That would be amazing.
Healthylevelup claims no responsibility for the rolled eyes, evil glares, and judgmental looks given to those who use the above lines. Healthylevelup does not intend to claim that macronutrients are lies created by the fitness industry, because that is just ridiculous. Eat your protein, your carbs, and your fat. Or whatever. Don’t blame us. You do you.